I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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