You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
