Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
They are going to name an STD after you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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