Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
