everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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