how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
