I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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