If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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