Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize