they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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