I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
