but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
