i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
