wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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