Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize