You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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