Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
