Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
