VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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