Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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