He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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