She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
