Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
