So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
wow bdsm is so cute
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
