i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
