maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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