He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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