I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
accomplished twins. life is a go
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
