I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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