somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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