around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
