drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
FUCK WHALES
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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