Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
