apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
