I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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