I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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