Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
