this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
