As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize