And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
