i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize