Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
