Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
