Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
