Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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