Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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