You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This baby is an asshole
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
