I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
