she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
