Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
