i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
