dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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