Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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