If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
