im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
