Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
