fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Couch. On fire.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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