I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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