She said her name was "party"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize