He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You took a bar mat shot.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
